For the past decade or so, I’ve been wondering why Christmas has lost its magic to me. I’ve tried to answer this question many times, but all explanations boiled down to something like “well, your parents and siblings are far away”, “it was magical because you were a kid”, “the environment is not what you are used to”. Part of it is true (my side of the family being far away and the culture that celebrates differently), but the magical part is totally not. It was magical for a long long time. I remember being 25 and still looking forward to Christmas Eve at my grandfather’s house! I think it was a combination of how we did it and the environment, where most of the country followed similar ways.
So the teacher in me decided to analyze a bit further and to share a couple of things that you might not have known about Lithuanian Christmas. And since there is so much to write about (even in the concise description that I am about to give), I have decided to split it into three different posts – to save your time and to make sure you enjoy it:)
Christmas Eve, or Kūčios
Part 1
Magic
Kūčios, or Christmas Eve, is THE time to be with the family and a very very important tradition in Lithuanian culture. It is the culmination of the advent period, during which loud celebrations are not encouraged, and more religious people fast. Back in the Soviet times, this holiday was forbidden seeing as no expression of religion was allowed (beautiful medieval churches were turned into grain storage areas, for an example), but the stubborn Lithuanians found ways to celebrate quietly, pretending it was something else (officer, we just gathered here to celebrate my cousin’s here birthday, ahem). Also, this particular Christmas Eve celebration is a tradition that is alive in only two countries – Lithuania and Poland. I naively thought that all other (Catholic) countries treat it the same way we do, but I learned that I was wrong. Which is great because now I get to share what I know with you!
There is a certain ritual to Kūčios and every Lithuanian family, no matter how far away they live, know at least some of what has to be done on this important night.
(photo: Michailas Aizenas)
Lithuanians were (are) people who believed in magic and rituals. There are a lot of legends and stories that surround the Christmas Eve. Beside serving the right food, you should know how to set the table properly and why it is done. Christmas Eve is considered a time to reflect and look back on your year as well as to be thankful for your family and all you have. It is a time when humans come in harmony with nature and animals. On Christmas Eve, the hostess spreads some straw on the table and then covers it with a white tablecloth. The bread served on the table is human food and the hay represents concord with the animals who help humans in so many ways.
It is important to have a clean house before the Christmas Eve because, as my mother used to say, if you don’t then your entire year will be a mess.
Kūčios has always been a holiday that is considered magical, even mystical. It was believed that on Christmas Eve, animals in the barn talk and that the water in the well turns to wine. My mother always told me and my siblings to think good thoughts and wished us to have good dreams, so that we may wake up with calm and renewed spirit that would carry us through to the coming year.
Another major component in Lithuanian Christmas Eve celebration is to try to keep it “how it used to be”, because it is believed that the souls of our ancestors and family members who are no longer with us, visit the family on that night. Therefore, sharing memories about them and setting an empty plate on the table serves as the spiritual connection.
What is Kūčios without a bit of magic? People of all ages in all walks of life and at all times in history have wanted to know what tomorrow will bring. The fact of the matter is, there is no sure fire way to find out. But to try and interpret the signs the way you like – why not?
Traditionally, it was important for young girls to know if they were going to get married soon, and for the guys – whether their hunting season will be good and whether the crops will do well; it was important for all to inquire about good health and long life.
Young girls knew many ways to find out whether they were going to get married the next year or not. For example, if you threw a shoe towards the door and it landed facing the door, that meant that you will leave the house next year, i.e. get married (I should have been married many times because every time I’d throw the shoe, it would always point away from the house!) Another trick that we used to have a lot of fun with as children was to take a bowl of water, light a candle and slowly drip the wax into the water and see what shapes it made. If two similar shapes connected, voila – you will meet your other (better, true:) half. Of course, you can make any interpretations you like; most often they represented your secret wishes: maybe someone wanted to get a puppy and saw a shape of a puppy made from wax in the bowl.
Remember the straw under the tablecloth that I mentioned earlier? Some people like to pick a straw without looking and see how long it is: a long one means long life and a short one, well, you can probably interpret it in a more fun way than short life, say, a short distance to the fulfillment of one’s dreams, right?:)
My family followed the above traditions every single year. We would all gather at my grandparents’ house, the women would prepare the food and my grandfather, the eldest member of the family, considered it a matter of honor to cut the rye bread. We would all gather at the table, my grandfather would say a prayer and then we would break holy bread with each other. Sharing stories, spending time with each other, and, after everyone was full, making some magic happen, truly brought a spark into this holiday, this life. To me, it was normal, the only way I knew to celebrate, and I only realized how truly amazing it was when I celebrated my first Christmas Eve in Lithuania with my husband (back then we weren’t married) because I saw it through his eyes. It’s much harder to keep the tradition going when you are away from where it all began and is a common denominator for the people of your country, but on the other hand, it is an opportunity to figure out how to give it to your children and create new ways of celebration by melding the two cultures.
What are some of the traditions that you and your family have to celebrate your holidays?